Is there light at the end of the tunnel?
Mrs Conehead
Posts: 15
in General Chat
Hello everyone
You don't know me - I'm Mrs Conehead. After many months (years!) I am now compelled to address the triathlon masses.
Is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Are there any other triathlon widows/widowers on this forum?
Its bad enough that my husband is away from home all the time doing what he laughingly calls 'work' i.e flying around the world to exotic places. He then writes a bestselling triathlon book, then gives the royalties away to charity. It reached breaking point when (as the WAT officer dark overlord, or overlady I should say) this income stream has been stemmed as he's now given almost everything for triathlon! There is no WAT to apply!
What has now tipped me over the edge is not only his series of training days (Human Race charge £60 for 4 hours on their 'days'....) but I see a 'training camp' in the south of France has been pencilled on for next year! Maybe we have a money tree in the garden that prodcues £50 notes on a daily basis that I'm not aware of.
So - word on the triathlon street is some sort of coach of the year award, I'd like that award. Not for Darren, but for me - kind of a surrogate triathlon widow award that I accept on behalf of all WAT/GAT/HAT/PAT/FAT officers. I don't know what I need to do to get Mr C nominated, but it sounds like a weekend away - where I can wear a nice dress and stay in a nice hotel - WITH NO BLACK BOMBER IN SIGHT.
I'd like your help in making this happen - do we barage someone with e-mails? Does anyone know what the scheme is with these awards? Ignore Darren - no doubt he'll have something to say on this.
I await your thoughts - oh people of the forum who have nicked my husband.......
You don't know me - I'm Mrs Conehead. After many months (years!) I am now compelled to address the triathlon masses.
Is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Are there any other triathlon widows/widowers on this forum?
Its bad enough that my husband is away from home all the time doing what he laughingly calls 'work' i.e flying around the world to exotic places. He then writes a bestselling triathlon book, then gives the royalties away to charity. It reached breaking point when (as the WAT officer dark overlord, or overlady I should say) this income stream has been stemmed as he's now given almost everything for triathlon! There is no WAT to apply!
What has now tipped me over the edge is not only his series of training days (Human Race charge £60 for 4 hours on their 'days'....) but I see a 'training camp' in the south of France has been pencilled on for next year! Maybe we have a money tree in the garden that prodcues £50 notes on a daily basis that I'm not aware of.
So - word on the triathlon street is some sort of coach of the year award, I'd like that award. Not for Darren, but for me - kind of a surrogate triathlon widow award that I accept on behalf of all WAT/GAT/HAT/PAT/FAT officers. I don't know what I need to do to get Mr C nominated, but it sounds like a weekend away - where I can wear a nice dress and stay in a nice hotel - WITH NO BLACK BOMBER IN SIGHT.
I'd like your help in making this happen - do we barage someone with e-mails? Does anyone know what the scheme is with these awards? Ignore Darren - no doubt he'll have something to say on this.
I await your thoughts - oh people of the forum who have nicked my husband.......
0
Comments
Mrs C, I sympathise with you as my wife is now crying the same things to me that I spend more time with claudia(my empress of a bike) than I do with her.
If it was up to me I'd keep her in the room and not in the garage (all alone with the mucky lawnmower).
I would expect Conehead now to get a barage of abuse....ahem sorry orders that he is now to treat you to a lovely holiday. I recommend Miami in september its such a lovely place.
We've not nicked your husband, we're merely borrowing him/sharing him and his fountain of knowledge.
Still you do deserve some credit with having the patience of a saint for putting up with us triathletes.
Queue up the forumites and there replies....
I'm sure many of us would delight in sending a barage of emails to 220 magazine to have Darren put forward. I honestly can't figure out how he gets it all done though... I only train 5-6 hours a week at the moment (relative newbie), so how Mr C trains, works and finds the time to organise training days and camps and compete is beyond me. There must be two of him.
Are you married to twins by any chance?
(If it is the genuine Mrs Conehead, then my apologies ma'am, it's a pleasure to meet you!)
Behind every great man, there is a greater Woman.
Certainly, for all the macho bravado that his Conehead's current top selling opus, there is a greater tale behind it, methinks. One of unerring support, devotion beyond what is required from that contract you probably have regretted signing on so many occasions (desperately searching to see if being married by Elvis in some out of the way foreign country is _really_ valid!)
All those lonely nights, and lonelier days lost to bike, water, and road. A daughter who's first words were no doubt "Who's that bald man, and what does he want?".
And just when the adrenaline buzz of competition, especially foreign ones, seems to be dwindling, a new obsession emerges! Not only does he have to goad his own carcass on to seemingly unending, if not impossible, endeavours - but now he has picked upon entirely random strangers with which to achieve the same feat!
You, my good lady, are a saint.
I am awed, and I salute you.
mrs c... if there is an award there are plenty of willing voters here. if there isn't one perhaps we should commission one specially. - the inaugural 'mr conehead award for excellent in the field of triathlon advice, triathlon stories and coneheadliness'.
mr and mrs c... can your daughter get dressed in a frighteningly fast time? worth watching for those first signs of a being a natural triathlete..
However all I can say as one of those adopted for a short period of time worth every penny of HAT
Your husband is the real deal and is helping me in something I can only describe as life changing for my son and I.
I owe him..... but one could argue that I also owe you more. If it wasn't for your understanding nature and selfless attitude then there are a great deal of people who wouldn't be the people they are today.Me included.
I think coach of the year should be Conehead's but I also think you should get a WOT award ( widow of triathlon).
May I thank you for allowing your husband ( we all know deep down we need permission lads) time to help us all.
Cheers
willieverfinish
1) Mrs Squishy just read this thread. Queue cries of "ha, it's not just me!"
2) She asked "what is WAT?" - how do I get out of that one?
Tell me when and where to vote. The Conehead clan are legends
"How Triathlon Ruined My Wife"
I'll get me coat. Mine's the lycra one with gender-enhancing coloured panels.
She is also now calculating the GAT owed from my training this year...cheers moonshine
Squishy, there's no way around WAT i dont think, although if anyone finds a loop hole let me know. My 'offshoring' is going to be found out soon as my desk at work is completely full of bits that i need to bring home at some point
Not long now till the one to one coaching,Rookie training days,evolves into Mr CH managing his own triathlon team,wearing branded CH clothing,lounging around your house,raiding your fridge and slobbing(sorry recovering)whilst watching your TV.
TRR Team sheet
ME
1.Free advertising for your business on bespoke Tri clothing.(Designed by Mrs CH)
2.Your own website for athletes to loiter on.
3.The website could have a forum for people to spurt forth with advice.
4.Athletes and friends would 'happily' part with their hard earned cash to be involved with such a well known Tri Person and celebrity.
5.Maybe even a monthly magazine with a class name like. MRH,or Max Heart Rate,or GoTri
I can just hear some one shouting GFY in the distance.
If I could convince Master Didds #1 to try running again, the junior Didds could knock out a relay team (age mixtures notwithstanding!) with Master Didds #2 on the cycle leg (he's got lots of training as he cycles around central Wiltshire chasing women!) and Miss Didds on the swim leg!
Team Didds!!!