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Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

Hello everyone

You don't know me - I'm Mrs Conehead. After many months (years!) I am now compelled to address the triathlon masses.

Is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Are there any other triathlon widows/widowers on this forum?

Its bad enough that my husband is away from home all the time doing what he laughingly calls 'work' i.e flying around the world to exotic places. He then writes a bestselling triathlon book, then gives the royalties away to charity. It reached breaking point when (as the WAT officer dark overlord, or overlady I should say) this income stream has been stemmed as he's now given almost everything for triathlon! There is no WAT to apply!

What has now tipped me over the edge is not only his series of training days (Human Race charge £60 for 4 hours on their 'days'....) but I see a 'training camp' in the south of France has been pencilled on for next year! Maybe we have a money tree in the garden that prodcues £50 notes on a daily basis that I'm not aware of.

So - word on the triathlon street is some sort of coach of the year award, I'd like that award. Not for Darren, but for me - kind of a surrogate triathlon widow award that I accept on behalf of all WAT/GAT/HAT/PAT/FAT officers. I don't know what I need to do to get Mr C nominated, but it sounds like a weekend away - where I can wear a nice dress and stay in a nice hotel - WITH NO BLACK BOMBER IN SIGHT.

I'd like your help in making this happen - do we barage someone with e-mails? Does anyone know what the scheme is with these awards? Ignore Darren - no doubt he'll have something to say on this.

I await your thoughts - oh people of the forum who have nicked my husband.......


  • shadowone1shadowone1 Posts: 1,408
    Have we been having a secret affair with Conehead????

    Mrs C, I sympathise with you as my wife is now crying the same things to me that I spend more time with claudia(my empress of a bike) than I do with her.

    If it was up to me I'd keep her in the room and not in the garage (all alone with the mucky lawnmower).

    I would expect Conehead now to get a barage of abuse....ahem sorry orders that he is now to treat you to a lovely holiday. I recommend Miami in september its such a lovely place.

    We've not nicked your husband, we're merely borrowing him/sharing him and his fountain of knowledge.
    Still you do deserve some credit with having the patience of a saint for putting up with us triathletes.

    Queue up the forumites and there replies....
  • FlavadaveFlavadave Posts: 749
    Mrs C? Wonderful! And welcome to the forum.

    I'm sure many of us would delight in sending a barage of emails to 220 magazine to have Darren put forward. I honestly can't figure out how he gets it all done though... I only train 5-6 hours a week at the moment (relative newbie), so how Mr C trains, works and finds the time to organise training days and camps and compete is beyond me. There must be two of him.

    Are you married to twins by any chance?
  • JulesJules Posts: 987
    I'm assuming from Conehead's reaction that this is not the genuine Mrs C. If so then

    (If it is the genuine Mrs Conehead, then my apologies ma'am, it's a pleasure to meet you!)
  • Jack HughesJack Hughes Posts: 1,262
    Ho ho! Good to see you, Mrs C!

    Behind every great man, there is a greater Woman.

    Certainly, for all the macho bravado that his Conehead's current top selling opus, there is a greater tale behind it, methinks. One of unerring support, devotion beyond what is required from that contract you probably have regretted signing on so many occasions (desperately searching to see if being married by Elvis in some out of the way foreign country is _really_ valid!)

    All those lonely nights, and lonelier days lost to bike, water, and road. A daughter who's first words were no doubt "Who's that bald man, and what does he want?".

    And just when the adrenaline buzz of competition, especially foreign ones, seems to be dwindling, a new obsession emerges! Not only does he have to goad his own carcass on to seemingly unending, if not impossible, endeavours - but now he has picked upon entirely random strangers with which to achieve the same feat!

    You, my good lady, are a saint.

    I am awed, and I salute you.
  • JulesJules Posts: 987
    Jack Hughes wrote:
    A daughter who's first words were no doubt "Who's that bald man, and what does he want?".

  • risris Posts: 1,002
    hehehe mr conehead's been pwned!

    mrs c... if there is an award there are plenty of willing voters here. if there isn't one perhaps we should commission one specially. - the inaugural 'mr conehead award for excellent in the field of triathlon advice, triathlon stories and coneheadliness'.

    mr and mrs c... can your daughter get dressed in a frighteningly fast time? worth watching for those first signs of a being a natural triathlete..
  • moonshinemoonshine Posts: 335
    I suggest a change in WAT deductions based not on actual money spent but on hours - this is unfortunately what my HAT officer has decided as my excuse of only spending penies on ebay does not cultivate an adequate level of HAT

    However all I can say as one of those adopted for a short period of time worth every penny of HAT
  • willieverfinishwillieverfinish Posts: 1,381
    I'd like to humbly bow to Mrs Conehead.

    Your husband is the real deal and is helping me in something I can only describe as life changing for my son and I.

    I owe him..... but one could argue that I also owe you more. If it wasn't for your understanding nature and selfless attitude then there are a great deal of people who wouldn't be the people they are today.Me included.

    I think coach of the year should be Conehead's but I also think you should get a WOT award ( widow of triathlon).

    May I thank you for allowing your husband ( we all know deep down we need permission lads) time to help us all.


  • MrSquishyMrSquishy Posts: 277
    Mrs Conehead wrote:
    Is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Are there any other triathlon widows/widowers on this forum?
    2 things just happened at Team Squishy HQ...

    1) Mrs Squishy just read this thread. Queue cries of "ha, it's not just me!"
    2) She asked "what is WAT?" - how do I get out of that one?

    Tell me when and where to vote. The Conehead clan are legends
  • BopomofoBopomofo Posts: 980
    Next up from our conical-craniumed hero:

    "How Triathlon Ruined My Wife"

    I'll get me coat. Mine's the lycra one with gender-enhancing coloured panels.
  • md6md6 Posts: 969
    Evening Mrs C, like squishy the GAT officer here read this and has decided that she may sat up a rival website called triwidows.com or some thing like that, and is somewhat comforted by the thought that there are other out there in the same boat.
    She is also now calculating the GAT owed from my training this year...cheers moonshine
    Squishy, there's no way around WAT i dont think, although if anyone finds a loop hole let me know. My 'offshoring' is going to be found out soon as my desk at work is completely full of bits that i need to bring home at some point
  • jonEjonE Posts: 1,113
    Tip of the Iceberg.
    Not long now till the one to one coaching,Rookie training days,evolves into Mr CH managing his own triathlon team,wearing branded CH clothing,lounging around your house,raiding your fridge and slobbing(sorry recovering)whilst watching your TV.
  • gavinrigg06gavinrigg06 Posts: 176
    Is this not Team Roberts ???
  • gavinrigg06gavinrigg06 Posts: 176
    Well if it was a go-er, I am sure that TRR (Team Rigg Racing) would be up for a merger

    TRR Team sheet

  • jonEjonE Posts: 1,113
    Just think of the advantage of a team.
    1.Free advertising for your business on bespoke Tri clothing.(Designed by Mrs CH)
    2.Your own website for athletes to loiter on.
    3.The website could have a forum for people to spurt forth with advice.
    4.Athletes and friends would 'happily' part with their hard earned cash to be involved with such a well known Tri Person and celebrity.
    5.Maybe even a monthly magazine with a class name like. MRH,or Max Heart Rate,or GoTri

    I can just hear some one shouting GFY in the distance.
  • diddsdidds Posts: 655
    well, Mrs Didds has just this week seriously suggested she give Tri a go (probably cos she reasons its the best way of spending some time with me!).

    If I could convince Master Didds #1 to try running again, the junior Didds could knock out a relay team (age mixtures notwithstanding!) with Master Didds #2 on the cycle leg (he's got lots of training as he cycles around central Wiltshire chasing women!) and Miss Didds on the swim leg!

    Team Didds!!!
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