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When not triathloning, I'm.....

JulesJules Posts: 987
Looks very convincing and might even persuade some folk that Highland Spring water will be better for them than other lesser water. Not me though, I'm more than happy with the much cheaper stuff I get out of the tap

EDIT - is the info in Active Lifestyle just a bit too technical for the average bod?

Comments

  • shadowone1shadowone1 Posts: 1,408
    Conehead,

    Are you now telling us that you've expanded to journalistic techniques now as well.

    Just wondered if you get freebies from them.....wimbeldon tickets!!! Lol.... Andy Murray is sponsered by them....

    Nice web-site, will have a proper in depth look when I get home. Where do you get the time!!!!
  • shadowone1shadowone1 Posts: 1,408
    From the sounds of it you need to write a encylcopedia at the moment mate.

    Is she peeved off with you or just having some sport?
  • Jack HughesJack Hughes Posts: 1,262
    Conehead wrote:
    be good to get some feedback from you guys.
    Page: yourSkinBodyMind/default.html
    "..way to keep you and your family’s body in good condition."

    You and your family have more than one body, so should be

    "..way to keep you and your family’s bodies in good condition."

    The page is also a bit too rich on the car analogy. This may work.. may be a turn off for people who don't like top gear.

    Page: yourSkinBodyMind/skin.html

    "Your skin can also dry out as you get older, especially if you live in sunnier climates. Being properly hydrated helps your skin stave off these effects as you head into your golden years"

    You've only mentioned one effect - "drying out", but two causes - "age" and "sunnier climates", so, the following might be better:

    "Your skin can also dry out as you get older, especially if you live in sunnier climates. Being properly hydrated helps your skin stave off the effect of these as you head into your golden years"

    There are a few grammatical oddities, but I'll let these pass as "style"...

    Do you want me to stop now, or read the rest of it? Obviously, I'm not passing comment on the science of it all - it is after all an advertisment
  • Jack HughesJack Hughes Posts: 1,262
    I'm obviously bored waiting for the general anaesthetic to kick in..

    yourSkinBodyMind/body.html

    "to let your body do what it is designed to."

    Infinitive with no verb, so:

    "to let your body do what it is designed to do."
  • nivaghnivagh Posts: 595
    Well, yes, I suppose so. But it doesnt' tell me why Highland Spring is better dihydrogen oxide than the stuff that Severn Trent sell me

    On the page called Active Lifestyle - footballers can lose up to 3kg per match, which is 3% of their body weight (body mass?). Are they really 100kg? That's nearly 16 stone!! Seems a bit on the porky side to me...

    Some references for the stats quoted would be handy at the bottom of the page.
  • i think the point that you can take away from it is that, if the only things that are being picked up are grammatical or statistics then the general content makes sense and is readable. I've read it and it seems fine to me!!
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