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Disapppointed Female Member

Just wanted to say that since I joined this forum as a newbie to Tri I have found a wealth of advice, encouragement and general helpfulness which I have really enjoyed. However with the recent posting of 'Babes in Tri' and the resulting personal email (non forum) I received asking for pics I have felt that the camaradarie has been somewhat lost for me which is a real shame.

I felt this forum was better than others I had viewed and that everyone (male and female) was mainly interested in the sport.

It kinda feels like if us women don't join in then we are the ones with a problem, sad really.

Don't know if any other women out there feel the same, I've thought long and hard about posting this as I know it means I prob won't get the banter, encouragement etc that I have come to enjoy so much and which has really helped a newbie but felt I had to say something.

Comments

  • madnursemadnurse Posts: 782
    HI AB !!!!!!!!



    can only say that the point of "babes in tri" (i hope was meant in good humour and not to objectify women within the sport .. speaking from my own point of view I see triathletes as such regardless of gender & if i am honest the hook of monies going to the NSPCC as a result of the bet (between another 220 triathlete & his boss ) did persuade me to engage with the posting. Am hoping the philosophy of the NSPCC as a fund rasing exercise didnt offend you as such, I dont seriously think anyone was expecting any photos to be sent - it was only ever meant in humour.



    That aside i take your point & from such will hope that the "babes in tri" serves now only to benefit the NSPCC as is from the bet as 1st mentioned without upsetting others. No one that I can see set out to demean women in triathlon & the pictures as posted, I dont think do anything other than show female triathletes as such. To this perhaps we as a forum should let it be at that without further postings.



    If the feelings of even one forum member are offended then I feel they should be able to speak out and their feeling validated - I dont know what if anything others feel about "babes in tri" given this from a disapointed member



    sincerely



    phil
  • Phil, I want to make clear to all that it was not your request for photos that was a problem, as I mentioned I recieved an email to my personal email address requesting pics to another members personal email - felt creepy! As a humourous thread it was fine.



    I appreciate your comments that if only one member is offended that it matters, as I said I thought long and hard about starting this thread.



    I support you 100% in your support of the NSPCC
  • ianogbornianogborn Posts: 64
    AB,

    I read ur message with shock, without being rude, from a male point of view, I dont see what you gripe is about. In this day and age the world is all about equal rights for any sex, origin, colour, etc. All I can say is that this was done in a bit of good humour and as you probably saw more thn 520 people ahve looked at th message and probably smiled about it and thought wow what a good thought! Its a shame you didnt have a piccie as I would of been intrigued to seen you, but my boss has just sent £10, 000 to the charity, so AB I think I made my point !

    Ian
  • madnursemadnurse Posts: 782
    hi ian .... dont suppose the money went to my justgiving site for the nsppc did it ... ?????
  • Ianogborn, in this day an age, as you put it, there should be mutual respect, something I have in my daily life and something I expect. To me your attitude just proves the point I was making.



    My question to you has to be why the personal email outside this forum?



  • pacrfishpacrfish Posts: 266
    It's a strange sport that we all seem to be crazy about - and from a 50 year old female's point of view - where else could I find myself surrounded by fit, young men dressed in lycra - and talking about the merits of shaving their legs????
  • hi AB

    Just to say that I agree with you - the thread is harmless, but nobody should be sending messages to your e-mail address asking for personal photos. You were right to raise it. It's a triathlon site, not a dating agency. I'm also sure that 99.9% of the members treat it as just that - a site to fret/panic/gloat/query/bleat/reminisce about all the technical/emotional/physical/camaraderie/tactics/kit sides of an expensive, painful, non-sensical but worryingly addictive sport (hope that sentence makes more sense to you than me!). Hope you keep posting (and the same goes for all the other "Super, senior and junior members - I may not post often, but I enjoy reading everyone elses messages on a daily basis)

    Mike

  • jojojojo Posts: 76
    Hi AB



    Have to say agree with you on all accounts. This is a great forum and the advice and banter has been great but an uninvited email to my personal email address, asking if I was a 'babe' and requesting pictures of me in my gear was a bit creepy (I too received it and ignored it).



    Perhaps we leave the babes in Tri thread. Though please don't think that I don't think that the cause is genuine and worthy but please try and imagine it from our point of view.



    Phil - gonna post an update on my shin splints on the 'what training thread'



    JOJo
  • jojojojo Posts: 76
    by the way how come I'm suddenly a 'senior member' - how does it work.



  • jazdogjazdog Posts: 223
    Hi AB and all!



    I've got to say I am one hundred per cent behind you on this one. Judging from most posts on the forum in general I think most of us would be mortified if we thought we had offended anyone. Its a shame when the type of camaraderie (which I think is unique to tri) is spoilt by a few!



    Personal messages for pictures is simply unacceptable! If you want a picture ask for it on the forum ... that way its up front and there can be no sense of ulterior motives about it! (Nuff said!)



    Jojo - the more posts you make the more "senior" a member you become! Welcome to the club![:D][:D]



    Kevin
  • DOtriHarderDOtriHarder Posts: 307
    Jo Ab Pat,



    Right behind you, personal requests are out! Keep with the forum though, we don't want to lose any of you.

    David
  • jazdogjazdog Posts: 223
    Here Here!
  • JasonBJasonB Posts: 303
    Totally agree. Sending emails to private addresses is OK, but not for something like photos. There are other forums/chat rooms that this sort of thing can be found at.





  • Agree with you there Jason,



    Personnal e-mails on that subject out of order!!



    Lets hope that we can all draw a line under this particular area of the forum and move forward. Looks as though everyone understands now and I can see why ABs was so p***ed off.



    Lets get back to talking about aching muscles, shin splits and why the hell we got involved in the crazy sport.



    Justin
  • madnursemadnurse Posts: 782
    what about shaven legs and lycra ... you missed off waxing & lycra ???????



    madnurse [:o]
  • fatmattfatmatt Posts: 145
    have to agree with the girls on this one, personal emails should be kept to buying and selling kit and arranging training sessions etc, saying that i really hope that it was just a case of someone not thinking through there actions and no harm or offence was meant,

    however i was offended that the girls were asked for pics, why wasn't i asked you miserable buggers??????
  • madnursemadnurse Posts: 782
    having seen pics of me in a trisuit on the web i can seee why no-one asked for any from me
  • fatmattfatmatt Posts: 145
    don't be worried about the pictures on websites mate, they are not true to life, can you believe in all the pics of me , every one of them make me look fat!!!!!!!
  • I knew I missed out something.......Pass the razor and lets get busy with these legs
  • Matt,



    You always look bigger in pictures due to the fact the camera puts a few pounds on ya!



    That is true I hope because I look god awful in some pictures i've see of myself.



    Happy

  • ianogbornianogborn Posts: 64
    Jo jo and AB

    This appears to have got off on the wrong foot and there was a sense of humour intended in all of this and ur right the idea of sending of personal e mails should not of been done, but it was purely fun and was not meant to cause any harm or upset o please accept my sincere apologies for this. On the good side of this, my boss has promised to make a significant donation to the NSPCC, the charity that Mad nurse is linked to. Apologies again and it wont happen again, sorry !
  • madnursemadnurse Posts: 782
    Ian - please tell your boss that I love him !!!!!!!!! the just giving site I am using to raise funds through triathlon for the NSPCC is ;



    www.justgiving.com/philNSPCC



    am hoping that this will keep all concerned happy and recognise what you set out to do was in a good cause aiming to help boost my efforts rather than to cause any offence.



    cheers



    Phil (madnurse)



  • fatmattfatmatt Posts: 145
    Matt,



    You always look bigger in pictures due to the fact the camera puts a few pounds on ya!



    That is true I hope because I look god awful in some pictures i've see of myself.



    Happy


    thanks happy,

    does the same apply to mirrors etc?? i hope so, because if it doesn't then maybe i'm just a porker!!!!
  • jojojojo Posts: 76
    That's completely cool - Ian



    Thanks



    JoJo
  • Thanks all for understanding what I was getting at!! After I posted wanted to take it off again but not good a keeping a problem in - just have to air it!!
  • ianogbornianogborn Posts: 64
    ab and jo jo,

    did u see the new thread about ideas of starting a 220 club etc that has been posted, would be a great idea. Have a look ladies .

  • BonusBBonusB Posts: 279
    Ladies,



    Sorry to bring this up again as it seems to have settled down, but being a admin on another forum site I'm hoping you bought the incident to the attention of the admin here. Whilst nothing may be done this time (or need to be done) it does help them keep a track of these things for future reference. In this case I think it is espcially important as we do not seem to have an active aministration here (i.e. the're not around alot).



    Just a thought.
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